I haven’t always been naturally happy. A few months ago I was writing in my journal and the first words that came out were “I feel lost.” I couldn’t figure out what else to write and for some reason I started to flip through the pages into past things that I had written. I flipped back to the first entry that I had written, about 6 months prior and I almost burst out into tears when I read the first sentence.
“I feel lost.”
This made me devastated. My initial thought was “Wtf! How long am I going to feel lost for? How much longer of this do I have?”
So I decided to take matters into my own hands and make a conscious decision to make myself happier. I wish I could say that I was some kind of genius that walked away from that decision happy as a clam but it took another 2 months before I could genuinely say “I am happy.”
What changed from me feeling lost to me being happy ninety nine percent of the time?
I realized that happiness was an inside job that was just like a cup of water, you have to keep refilling it if you want to keep drinking from that glass.
There is no saying, “I’m just going to be happy and that’s what I’ll be.” Well, I shouldn’t say never and if you’ve done that in your life than by all means please write a book on how you pulled that off.
For the rest of us we have to embrace this idea that our happiness is something we don’t just attain, it’s something we put time, energy, and effort into.
It took me two months to figure out the three necessities that happiness requires but I don’t want it to take you that long. I’m here to accelerate those two months for you. If you take action and consciously decide that this is the only way you’ll live your life from here on out-well you’re about to have a damn good life.
So let’s break it down:
Do something you enjoy doing everyday.
Not every other day, not once a week. Everyday. You have to refill your glass of happiness by pouring in things that make you happy. Whether you only have time to eat your favorite breakfast, or to workout, or to read a chapter of a book, you have to do something that makes you feel good inside. As time goes on you’ll realize that the things that make you happy that felt time consuming or inconvenient become a regular routine because you don’t want to not do them. Then you add more and more and soon you have a routine specifically tuned to make you happy. Your glass is constantly refilled and your happiness meter is through the roof.
Go out of your way to do something nice for someone at least 3 times a day.
Yes, I’m so serious. I don’t want to hear any excuses and you shouldn’t allow yourself to make any up. Hold the door for someone. Help a coworker. Let a car turn even though you’ll have to slow down. Do nice things. What happens when you do nice things is that you start to have the same energy come back to you. When you’re going out of your way to help other people, other people go out of their way to help you. You see the good in the world and you become the good in the world. If everyone took on this mindset what an incredible difference we would see in how our world interacts. Look, you can’t go to bed disappointed in yourself because you bought the person in front of you coffee, drove a friend to the airport, or tipped your waitress extra. It’s not possible. You go to bed happy with yourself and your cup of happiness stays full-just the way we want it to.
Turn your love inwards.
No matter who you are or how big your ego is, we all need to add self love into our daily regime. This doesn’t mean you stare at yourself in the mirror for three hours a day or that you only talk about yourself. It means that the same love and care that we have for a small child we have for ourselves. If a child makes a mistake we don’t yell at them and tell them their stupid, worthless, and good for nothing. So why in the hell would you say that to yourself? Just like everyone around you, you are doing the best you can with the hand you’ve been dealt and it’ll serve you immensely to support and love yourself through the entirety of your life. What happens when we love ourselves is that we create this permanent vibration of positivity and light that we get to shine outwards to others. It makes us good citizens, generous friends, and positive influencers on those around us. Right here is where your cup of happiness starts to spill over the brim and your happiness reaches all of those around you, soaking them with the same confidence and beauty that you have brought into your life.
I knew the day that I wrote “I feel lost” that I didn’t want to feel that way for another day let alone another six months. I’ve created a one hundred and eighty degree difference in my life from then to now and you wouldn’t be surprised to hear that I would never go back to living the way I was.
When I go out of my way to do things that make me happy, choose kindness first, and make sure that I feel totally loved and supported by myself life just comes together. Everything starts to fit like a puzzle piece and I’m able to have this profound feeling of purpose.
Fill your cup. Fill it to the top and then keep filling it. Never stop pouring from your pitcher of happiness even if your glass starts to overflow. Let your happiness inspire all of those around you and be on the look out for life to throw amazing experiences your way.