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Find your happiness

I believe that everyone in this world is striving

to, in their own unique way, find their own

happiness.

 

People have vastly different personalities, beliefs,

religions, values, and ideals but in the end, no matter

which path we take through life we all just want to end

up in a place where we can simply be happy.

 

Words are just symbols so when I use the word

happy I’m referring to a lasting joy that

permeates your being on a daily bases.

 

My use of the term happiness can refer to a sense of inner

peace, joy, bliss and fulfillment. When I talk about the

secret of happiness I’m mean reaching a state in your life

where your default state is happiness, and that happiness

is present in your being for the vast majority of the time.

 

As I’ve traveled I’ve met a good number of people

all with different life situations and levels of

happiness. I’ve met people with very easy lives

surrounded by loving friends who wake up every day

bored, discontent or even annoyed with their

situation.

 

I’ve met financially wealthy people who in a fit of anger about

their unhappiness scream “I can buy or do anything I want!

Shouldn’t that be enough!?” and I’ve also met financially poorer

people, with busy more difficult lives who can’t keep a beautiful

smile off their face due to their everyday lasting happiness.

 

This definitely posed the question in me, what’s the difference?

What is the secret to happiness?

 

In order to find the secret of happiness we have

to ask and answer a very important question. What

is it exactly that makes a person happy?

 

People have many ideals for what they want in their lives

to make them happy. For some its financial abundance,

for others its loving relationships, some want a sense of

fulfillment from helping others, others want to feel successful

in the career they pursue, and some simply want to be

free from oppression or persecution.

 

A more balanced person will decide happiness comes from

achieving a degree of success and harmony in all of the important

areas of his life, something that is far easier said than done.

 

Now while pursuing these things these things can create varying

degrees of outward happiness, are they really the secret to happiness?

Let’s look deeper.

 

Filling the hole is not going to make you happy

 

If I could only just get that new high paying job,

then I’d be happy. If I could only just escape my

small home town, then I’d be happy. If I could

only just find the perfect lover, then I’d be

happy.

 

Many people have the single ideal goal that they believe once

achieved will allow them to finally have the happiness they’ve

been pursuing.

 

They feel a certain lack in their lives and until that emptiness

is filled they will live in a less than happy state.

 

The feeling of lack in this area they carry with them

also helps to prevent them from fulfilling it. The truth is

however, even after accomplishing that one thing that

you’re sure will finally make you happy for the rest of

your life, in reality… is not going to change

things all that much.

 

Sure you will find temporary joy and pride at finally accomplishing

the thing you set out to do, but as fast as a fancy new car

loses its once exciting appeal, the happiness you got from

accomplishing the goal will slowly fade, or be replaced by new

goals and desires that you will again be sure, that once you

accomplish them will finally make you happy.

 

One of the reasons you can’t find lasting

happiness at the accomplishment of a certain

something comes from our amazing ability to adapt

to our life situations.

 

When there is something missing in our lives we feel that

filling the void will give us that extra ‘thing’ we need but once

the void is filled we adapt to our new situation and the extra

thing becomes the new normal.

 

Our problems or things that make us unhappy are always

relative to our current situation. A homeless person who is

handed a sandwich by a stranger can feel the same or more

joy than a business man who is taken out to a fancy 5 course

lobster dinner.

 

Because happiness is relative it’s very hard to

achieve lasting happiness by adding things, people

or accomplishments to your life.

 

What if for some reason the above doesn’t apply to you.

Maybe you practice feeling gratitude for the things in your

life and you have found a way to constantly feel grateful for

all the things you have without becoming too ‘used to them’ that

they lose their appeal.

 

There is still another underlying problem that threatens

your lasting happiness, and that is the impermanence of life.

 

The impermanence of life

 

The world is in a constant state of change, and

the fact is that nothing is permanent and nothing

lasts forever.

 

If your happiness comes from your money there is always a

fear of losing it. If your happiness comes from your beauty

you will someday become old and wrinkled.

 

If your happiness comes from your friends, family or lover,

they will someday leave this world or we may be separated

from them. There is always a way to lose that which makes
you happy, or have it taken from you.

 

The more we deny this and the more desperately we

try to hold onto the things we need, the more

unhappy we will be when they are gone.

 

This fact may seem, grim and depressing but that is only the

case if you falsely believe that happiness needs to come from

all of these outside impermanent things.

 

There is one permanent thing and it is the only true source of

lasting happiness. It can take a little effort to find, but it is free

and always available to us.

 

Happiness comes from within

 

Can you be completely happy just taking a walk through nature?

Can you feel peace sitting alone in silence? If you were stranded

on a deserted island could you still be joyful?

 

In the core of everyone is their default emotional state. When

there is no outside forces distracting you, and your mind is

free from thinking of the past or future what do you feel?

 

Is your default state one of peace or is it something negative

like boredom, depression or mild annoyance?

 

I believe that deep within all of us at our cores is a feeling of

deep peace and joy but often times in life we become so

disconnected from within that we lose sight of it and the

inner peace almost seems to fade away.

 

We become so distracted by everything on the outside that

we don’t have time to focus on what’s deep within us. For many

people our minds never give us a chance to rest.

 

The nearly constant chatter in our heads keeps us

preoccupied from experiencing anything internal.

 

Learning to quiet our minds, look inside and feel

this deep joy within us, then to bring that out as

a part of our daily lives is the secret to lasting

happiness.

 

The ever present joy deep within is the

only type of happiness that cannot be lost or

taken. People who have learnt to feel good for no

reason tap into this source and it is the reason

they are happy while others with better life

situations may not be.

 

How to cultivate inner happiness

 

An important step to cultivating inner peace is to

make the voice in your head align with the

happiness you want to experience.

 

If your inner thoughts about the outside world are frequently

negative the negativity you create by thinking in

this way will cut you off from your own inner

happiness.

 

Learn to control your mind and cut your

thoughts off when you notice you begin to think

overly negatively. Your mind is merely a tool for

your own use and learning to control it so it

doesn’t control you is an important step.

 

Practice thinking positively. It does take practice…

like anything you have to repeat something over and

over before it becomes a habit, but if you already

have a habit of thinking negatively breaking this

habit will absolutely enhance your life.

 

Practice seeing the good in people, the lighter side of

things and be grateful for everything you can, in

time thinking positively will be all there is.

 

Learning to have positive thoughts is most

important when thinking about yourself.

 

If the voice in your head is putting yourself down,

saying you’re not good enough or that you can’t

accomplish something or simply that you are not a

good person you will create negativity within that

blocks the positivity at your core.

 

Learning to love yourself for who you are is the most

important step to creating inner happiness. Become

the type of person you would love to hang out with.

 

Ensure you are comfortable spending time in your

own company, and it will be easy to feel good for no

outside reason.

 

I think it’s important to know for a fact you can

feel intense inner happiness without anything

external playing a part.

 

Chances are you may have experienced this from

time to time. You may have just felt like you were in

a really good mood for no reason. A great way to

experience inner joy without outer influence is

through meditation.

 

Meditation is an amazing way to take control of

your emotions and to help you experience things

that only come from inside. It also has an amazing

number of health and mental benefits with

extending beyond mere stress relief.

 

 

Doing basic meditation  for only 20 minutes a

day can completely change your life. The more you

practice feeling awesome on the inside the easier

it becomes to recreate those emotions.

 

Take time during your day to just stop whatever your doing,

clear your mind and just feel really good. Don’t

attach any reasons or meaning to your feelings,

just feel the inner joy and peace that’s inside.

 

Feel good for no reason even if only for a few

seconds at a time. If you’re having difficulty

feeling good try putting on an awesome piece of

music then visualize yourself having a blast doing

something you find incredibly joyful.

 

You won’t be able to help feeling happy about it.

You’re not fooling yourself by pretending to feel good when

it’s really not true, the truth is you do contain these default

feelings at the core of your being they just get clouded and

hidden by all the other distractions in your life.

 

Doing this simply reconnects you to what has always

been there underneath.

 

But what about all the stuff?

 

Since its true we don’t need anything in this

world to cultivate inner happiness does that mean

we should forget about going for all the stuff we

want?

 

Some schools of thought would teach that

since happiness comes from within its best to

deprive ourselves of all outwardly possessions,

desires, attachments, even to deprive the body and

fast.

 

This is totally foolish! Depriving yourself

of things will force you to put in more effort

merely to survive and all this effort detracts

from the amount of time you can focus on being

happy.

 

Just because we don’t need these things to

be happy doesn’t mean they will have a negative

effect on us. When you learn to be happy with

nothing, everything thing you add to your life

simply feels like a nice bonus.

 

Go for the financial abundance, the perfect health,

the fun experience, the ideal lover, just don’t depend on

them for your happiness.

 

When these things are just a small bonus to your core

happiness you aren’t desperately attached to them and

if they are lost or taken your deep inner peace will still

remain intact.

 

Now I’m not saying that if something really upsetting

happens such as losing a child or lover that you won’t

be deeply upset…

 

You will still be devastated and need time to

grieve…

 

But the difference between someone with their own

inner peace compared with someone who had all

their happiness invested in the other person will be a

matter of how soon they can eventually recover.

 

Happiness grows

 

The more time you spend learning to get your

happiness from the inside rather than the outside

the easier it will become and feeling good will

seem as effortless as breathing.

 

When you are already feeling good inside any little joyful

thing you encounter on the outside will add even

more to your happiness than it normally would

have.

 

Happiness carries momentum with it and

holding an inner happiness will make it easy to

ignore the smaller negative things that inevitably

happen.

 

The inner happiness emanating from you

will also affect everyone you meet and the

positive energy shared in the interactions will

make it easier for the happiness to continue and

grow.

 

Drawing your happiness from inside will give

you a sense of freedom from the forces of this

world, and give you true mastery over your own

happiness.

 

As a fellow traveller once said to me “Be happy,

it’s all beautiful!”

Margaret Hirsch
Margaret Hirsch
Hirsch COO runs South Africa’s top independence appliance company that specialises in all appliances, electronics, furniture and bedding. They give the best deals and the best prices and everything is guaranteed.