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Stop complaining

How can we find time in these busy, fast track and
overwhelming life and work experiences to find
balance in our life? Have you ever asked yourself
that question?

Have you ever complaint that you don’t have enough
time to do everything you want to do? Have you
ever wish to have balance between your personal
and profession life? We all love to!

Before that, before any approach to any
resolutions for our complaints, we have to find
out what we mean by balance?

Because sometimes balance is a different
experience for different people, or we have a
different expectation of what it means to have
balance in life!

What I want to know is this; what does balance
mean to you? What would you call a balanced life?

So, I am looking forward to your answer to this
question right now! Let’s get a piece of paper and
write down what balance means to you! For example;

• To have time for yourself to do what you want to

• To have time for others, such as family members,
wife, husband, children or friends.

• To have time for pursuing your interests in

• To travel and have fun.

• To sit and do nothing… !

• To play your musical instruments.

• To take the love of your life to classical music
concerts, a romantic dinner or do something

• To go to Rock & Roll concerts and let it rock!

• To be able to read, write or think anytime you

• To go places without reservations, or concerns
about time or money.

So, if we look at everything that you have said,
what do we get?

All that you all want is to have more time in life
to spend it with your family, spend it doing what
it seems fun to you, pursuing interests in life,
enjoying your life and coming home soon to
everything you love.

Right? Or at least close enough.

But what is in the way? Who is stopping you?

You are! You might ask, how? OK, let’s see!

• Who is running your business?

• Who is driving your car?

• Who is not keeping himself/herself of his/her

• Who is complaining that he/she has no time?

• Who is deciding for you?

• Who is holding on to so much past upsets in
his/her head and heart that there are no room for

• Who is holding on to so much resentments and
regrets in life and pointing the finger to
everyone except himself/herself?

• Who is making promises to himself/herself or
others with no intention of keeping them?

• Who is breaking promises and agreements left and
right and always having so many excuses and
justifications for it?

• Who is hiring a productivity or life coach and
then doing whatever he or she wants anyway?
You! Yes, you! Don’t act like you don’t know what
I am talking about!

I have to tell you this right now; I want you to
stop writing notes, because these notes will never
be useful to you, if you’re not listening.

If you are not listening like your life is depending on
it, and you know what, your happiness, joy and
fulfillment is depending on it, so your life is
depending on it! Get it?

So please listen and apply the distinctions that I
am talking to you about directly in your life. So
let’s begin.

• Do you know you have an inner voice that decides
for you?

• Do you know that you always listen to that voice

• Are you aware that you always discus your
options with that inner voice? And somehow you are
always Right about your choice?

• Are you aware of the impact that listening to
that voice has on you?

You got to answer all the above questions with
authenticity and complete interest to having a
breakthrough in your productivity.

When you get
that you do have that Inner Chatter, then we can
move on to the next set of questions;

• What is your internal dialogue about free time?
In other words, what are you constantly complain
about your free time? Do you any? I am sure you

• What is your internal dialogue about balance in
life? Or, again, what are you constantly complain
about your life balance? Is there any balance?
Would you like to have more? What is the main

• What decisions have you made about life in
general? When you are complain about life and lack
of balance, what do you decide about life?

• What is your inner dialogue about your staff or
your team members? Or about how they work that
might cause you not having time?

• What is your inner dialogue about your business?
Is it just sucking your time?

• What decisions have you made about business in

Now stop and review all of your thoughts about
your inner chatter and your inner dialogue;

• Can you see that it is really busy in your head?

• Do you see what’s going on in there?

• Can you recognize that chatter in your head?

• It is really busy… it is not nice… it is
mostly negative… in some cases even
condescending and belittling to yourself and to

Here the punch! There is something in it for you
complaining… there is a juice, like a
satisfaction for you in your complaints;

• What are you gaining by continuing to entertain
these inner dialogues? You are becoming Right
about your complain?

• Are you justifying your lack of having balance
in your life?

• Are you using your inner chatter to come with
reasoning and explanations about why you can’t
have balance in your life?

• What is the decision you made about yourself and
your abilities to have balance? Such as; it is
impassible… or I can’t do it… or even; It
can’t get done.

Yes, what you are gaining by entertaining this
inner dialogue is lack of responsibility for
having balance in life.

You might say by now, what do you mean by that?
Look, if you want to be right about;

• You have no time.

• Your family is not supporting you.

• Your spouse or your kids need all of your time.

• Your staff is not a good staff.

• Your business is not growing.

• Your business is not the right business.

• You have to work hard.

• Nobody knows your sorrow.

• Nobody understands the things that you have to
do you.

• And blah, blah, blah

Then nobody can keep you responsible or hold you
accountable for having balance in your life.

If you really look at your daily schedule, you see
how much time you’re wasting. You need to take a
hard core look at what you really are committed

Because you might really not be committed to
success! Every day, you see people who are saying
something and doing something else!

Like you, here we are at today, what happened to your
New Year resolution? Gone with the wind! What happened?

You’re the same person, aren’t you? But if you
notice, you will see this familiar pattern each
time that you make such a commitment. It won’t
take that long for everything go down the tube.

• Why is this so? Because you’re right!

• You’re right about you’re inabilities!

• You are right about your lack of self esteem.

• You are right about your shortage of luck.

• You’re continued to do the same mistake over and
over and over again.

As Rita Mae Brown said, The definition of insanity is
doing the same thing, over and over again, expecting
different results.

So, let’s look again and see what your repetition
in your life is?

What is the thing that you keep doing and not
getting a different result?

Could be something like:

• Not keeping your promises to leave your business
at a certain time?

• Not making sure you stay on your schedule all
the time?

• Not holding yourself and your staff accountable
for producing results?

• Keep changing your personal and family schedule
because you are behind on your business schedule?

• Not saving money to do your fun activities and
your hobbies?

• Not listening to people who care about you?

• Not following your coach’s or consultant’s

• And so much more…

And when you look closely and dig deeply you will
see, again, what you are gaining is;

“Not being able to!”

You might ask; so, what can I do about it? Or what
is the way out of this cycle?

Now it is the time to get your notebooks out!
Start writing after each question;

• First and main step is to recognize and
acknowledge the inner dialogue and the texture of
it. This means how it is showing up in your life
and how it is manifesting itself in your life.

• Second step is to recognize and understand the
payoff of that way of thinking and what are you
gaining out of it.

• After that you need to totally own it and become
responsible for the outcome of your former way of
thinking and all the upsets and resentments that
you have created by entertaining all this

• Now it is the time to forget you. Totally forget
yourself and make a new promise. Not from the past
experiences, that you know how to make a change by
promising something that you were not sure if you
were keeping it or not! But from a new place,
called Possibility!

• What is possible out of you having balance in
life and business?
What is possible from you having a fulfilled life
and relationships?

What is the possibility you are creating for your
life and your business now, from nothing but clean
slate and open space, without letting anything
else get into it but pure and unused possibility?

• Now, look at your life and your business and see
what practices you are doing that do not empower
your possibility and are not correlated to that
possibility or do not fit in with it.

• Start eliminating those practices and create a
new set of practices to replace them.

• Open your schedule book, either on your day
timer calendar or your electronic calendar and
redesign your daily activities and schedule. Yes!

Throw away all of your old schedule and come up
with a new one. New possibility, new mind set and
new schedule.

• You have to go through your entire year and do
what I am coaching you to do in your calendar for
a year in advance.

• Schedule your vacations and days off first. Log
them in your calendar and do not change them.
Announce them to your family and even buy the
tickets and it is on!

• Then schedule your fun activities that you care
about the most. You need to nurture your mind as
much as you are nurturing your body.

I know that for some of you, this is a foreign concept.
So, log in your book all the events you like to
participate in, or go to, or do! Concerts, golf,
tennis, picnics and so forth.

• Log in your closing time. The time that you are
going home. Log it in and do not change it.

• Now you have all of your free time on your
calendar so that you can design your working
hours. Let’s do it.

• Stop complaining about “you don’t have time”!
Stop nagging, bitching and complaining and you
will have enough time.

• As I always say:

Do you want to be happy?
Stop complaining!

Do you want to be effective?
Stop complaining!

Do you want to be successful?
Stop complaining!

Do you want to be fulfilled?
Stop complaining!

Do you want to enjoy your life to the end?

• Add 15% to 20% time to every activity you are
scheduling in your book. Call it emergency and
interruption time.

You can responsibly schedule your interruption
and emergency times. By the end of the day, you
will either find that you have used that time (which
makes you a really productive person because you
kept to your schedule) or that you have not used it
and you now have some free time on your hands to
do whatever needs to get done.

That is, again, productivity. So, either way you will be
more productive.

• Review your daily and weekly calendar everyday.
Make sure that if you need any adjustment you do
it immediately, before it gets too late.

• Now you need to make sure all of your family
members and team members are aware of your
schedule and most importantly, they are aware of
your commitment to keep yourself on that schedule.

Now remember this: If it is not in your schedule
it will not get done. And you are the person who
can keep it on your schedule, nobody else.

The key to your success in this process is “Doing
It” not thinking about it and not trying it. Doing
it is what makes the biggest difference.

I know what you are thinking? It is easier to say
vs. to do! You are absolutely right!

However, you have to make a clear choice here! Do
you want to be right about “it is not going to
work” or do you want to have more balance in your

I am going to leave you with a great quote from
one of the most successful business people in the
world, Mr. Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can,
or think you can’t, you’re right”.

From this point on, it is your choice.

Margaret Hirsch
Margaret Hirsch
Hirsch COO runs South Africa’s top independence appliance company that specialises in all appliances, electronics, furniture and bedding. They give the best deals and the best prices and everything is guaranteed.